


across the universe

by tsuikki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24528382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuikki/pseuds/tsuikki
Summary: suga always believed in the power of tiny howls that come from hearts.*just a little story. not pretty good. and english isn't my native language, please consider it.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	across the universe

**ACROSS THE UNIVERSE**

**full moon's noise reminds**

Suga has always believed that every heart's howl which will lead life has a huge impact. Every individual should listen to this sweet tiny howl, Suga thought. Then he met a boy whose howl has been silenced. He met a boy who was forced to bury his sparks in the huge and untraceable desert of lost dreams. Once you bury something, there's no way you can find it again. Daichi seeked his sparks until he understood the fact. He lost the track and the ones who caused this mistake never felt an ache in their hearts. The one never considered that he was the reason of losses. He never understood that there are losses anyway.

It was dark outside, there was only bright moonlight reflecting from the fountain which is in the middle of the garden. The garden of Sugawara family. Sugawara family was an ordinary and happy family. They raised their precious child with whole attention. They always made Koushi think that everyone is special in their own ways. Koushi was a kind of guy who believes life is miraculous. But life never worked in that way. Sometimes disasters would show up instead of miracles.

When Mr Sugawara’s works got harder they employed someone to help for housework. Sawamura was the hangman of town because he couldn’t hear the screams of criminals. He was a deaf man with a child. Daichi was a boy who never met his mother and has struggled with communation when it comes to his father. He learned how to communicate from his neighbours. They carried him and raised him until his dad started to work for Sugawara family. Actually it was Mr Sugawara’s idea. He felt sorry about Mr Sawamura. He wanted to help, at least he tried. Mr Sawamura would do the garden works most of the time and he and his child stayed in a cabinet which is in the garden.

Suga and Daichi met when Suga was 5 and Daichi was 6. Suga has always seen the bright eyes of Daichi’s. Deep inside of ‘em. He observed every line of the desire which is bubbling passionately. He admired Daichi for all of his life. When Daichi holds his hands, Suga’s little dreamy world would stop for seconds. He always wanted to appreciate these moments longer. He never could and lost coming ones too, unfortunately. Maybe it was not the work of fortune. Maybe blaming wouldn’t help. Suga never forgived himself for real. How could he forgive himself when he lost something that shiny? He blamed his arrogant-self for wasting the sweetest gleam of his dreamy little world.

The night after Daichi danced with his dream girl at age of 17, he met with his best friend Suga at the cottage which is in the backyard. Suga was the one who helped Daichi to sneak in the dance. There were influential people everywhere and also Daichi’s lover. It was one-sided tho. At that night, Daichi decided to be a man like his lover’s father. He was planning to go to the city and become a rich man. Suga was aware of this was just a dream but he believed too. But he was still aware of the fact that Daichi’s dad would never support his son. Never, not at all. Suga was the only one who ever listened Daichi’s dreams. He was the only one who cares. Who cared from the very beginning. He was the one who always found Daichi when he’s lost. In everywhere and everyway. He would find him, wherever he is. Even if he couldn’t find him, at least he would wait forever for Daichi. He did tho. He always waited Daichi to find himself. He waited for him to come back.

It was the night of the day Daichi argued with his father about going to city. He refused of course, even without a single consideration. Actually he wouldn’t be considered as listened. Daichi’s father never listened anyone. He couldn’t. That was the reason why Daichi never learned how to listen. Maybe this is why he couldn’t find his soul’s howl in the desert. Maybe this is why he never sensed emotions of others. Maybe it’s everyone’s destiny. Maybe Daichi is just a tiny victim. Tiny victim of careless minds. Maybe it was his fault to look at the sky and think that universe has much more place for him. It was his fault to overgrow. It was his fault to water his every dream one by one, carefully and with all of his love. He didn’t spend his love for anything else. Not even for the boy who played in the garden with him.

Sugawara loved Daichi to death. He admired his way of chuckle, saying “Suga-san.” and his free soul which is trying to escape. He even took the risk of watching him dancing with others. But whatever he did, how much he tried, it was never enough. Nothing helped. Sugawara couldn’t take the unbearable desire of being with the universe itself off of Daichi’s heart. Sugawara only could captured the last vision of his love. All he could was watching.

At the end of the day Daichi was just a boy who’s chasing his dreams regardlessly. He was a boy who’s been blinded by the idea of being a star again. But he only head a cruel cliff in his heart for all of his life. Day by day, a desperate boy growed in his body. Sugawara couldn’t avoid it. He couldn’t do anything else except playing along and listening. Even if he could see it, he would never choose not to meet his dear sweet boy, Sawamura Daichi. He would venture the pain. In everyway.

Daichi ran into Suga’s arms again, after his dad’s careless speech. Like he always do. When Daichi’s father killed a man for the first time in front of Daichi, he took refuge in Sugawara. On Suga’s protective shoulder. They were warm enough to ease the pain. Suga shared his lap with him, he would share it forever.

Daichi’s dreams was broken to pieces. He started to chase after smithereens. He was no longer caring about father’s beating. But even if his dreams were strong, he couldn’t handle the sense of emptiness. Even though it’s void.

“Void.” Suga said while patting Daichi’s head. “All your worries are useless. If only your passion was mine.”

Daichi had nothing left to say. That was the reason of his silence. He was busy thinking about his useless passion and how to get rid of it.

“And...” Suga continued on his words sorely. The long-growing sadness was looking like it left a mark on his eyebrows. It never really passed. The mark stayed with him. “you’ll never be stardust again. It was once in a lifetime. You already became a star. Then you shaped into this body of yours.” He snuggled into the sweater that Daichi gave him and grabbed Daichi’s cheek with all of his love. Daichi never felt it. He never understood. “and i love it. I love you being Daichi, starboy. It sounds merciless but I love the fact that there’s no turning back. I love you being you.” Daichi directed his star-gaze to Suga. “I can cram the universe in you. Don’t look at me like that.” He smiled. Suga’s universe was just as big as Daichi after all.

Suga regretted every second. Every second that he loved the ways that had no turning backs.

And Daichi didn’t really listen to him. Not a line. He was too busy searching for ways to be stardust again.

“Little Prince,” Daichi would say that to Suga. “I lost it.” Suga glanced him with eyes that shows he didn’t understand what he was trying to say. “the universe in me. Already. They’re blaming me for trying to be like someone else. But all I want to do is to reveal someone or make it stardust again.”

After a few weeks Suga left for education of acting. He went to the city. He left Daichi all alone.

“I hope you lose your way.” Daichi murmured angrily at the day Suga left. Suga didn’t hear it but lost his way however.

Daichi started to work for a farm with people who never listen. He lost his lover forever, best friend and couldn’t find the track of smithereens. He was unable to see anyways. He missed his Little Prince every second. Even if he never accepts it.

One day Daichi left. I’m going to the river, he said to the people who never listen. And didn’t come back.

“So… I read a book of yours.” He once said to Suga. “It was saying that we are made of stardust.” He started to believe that he would become star again if he dies. The lines that made him believe that were belong to Suga. Suga burned that book after funeral. He wanted to burn his feelings as well. Little Prince was in such a pain. A pain that never ends. A pain that flows in veins non-stop.

“I don’t really blame you for being dead.” Suga said in front of Daichi’s lonely grave. “…but, you can’t have your sweater back.”*

*Richard Siken’s lines


End file.
